I have mentioned in previous posts my struggle with depression. I have also mentioned how the Western method of treatment (take a pill, see a shrink) had completely failed me. After this latest bout of depression which lasted a full 9 years and defied all the effort of Western medicine (change pills, up the dose, add another pill, see a different and more expensive shrink) I had had enough. I have taken a different route and this works! Astonishingly fast too I might add. I know I can’t be the only one that has gone through this. I cannot be the only one who has been told they have “Treatment Resistant Depression” or the term would have never been coined. Further, if pills worked for everyone then why is there anyone with depression at all? The fact is, pills do not work for everyone. Neither does seeing expensive shrinks.

I decided to write about my experience. The failure of the Western medical approach and the incredible speed and effectiveness of an “alternative” approach. I really hate the term “alternative” as it can invoke feelings of doubt in some people, as if it were some inept and crazy thing. It’s not. It’s far older and thus more mature than our system. In fact, it works so well that now pharmaceutical companies are producing and selling “pharmaceutical grade” compounds and pills of the exact same things this “alternative” method uses! So they know it works and you can be sure that the “pharmaceutical” version of these things are far and away more expensive than what works without being labeled pharmaceutical.

The approach is Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and Naturopathy. I don’t see it as simply an “alternative” approach, I see it as different. And in my case, effective whereas the accepted and standard treatment was a complete failure.

Anyway, the amazing success this different approach has had in helping me get my life back and freeing me from the darkness of depression has prompted me to write a short book about it. I wrote the book with depressed people in mind because when I was in the grip of depression I tried to read several books that were supposed to help me only to find I couldn’t get through them. They were too long and I had to read through too much useless “filler” to get to any useful information. So I made this book short and to the point. It gets right to the things that worked for me and covers some of the problems one can encounter with prolonged severe depression, including the financial impact. The book is available at Amazon. I’m selling it for ninety nine cents so it’s not as if I’m trying to get rich from it. I truly do want people to benefit from it. I could just give it away, and I thought of that, but I figured that ninety nine cents was a reasonable price and it will help me and my son keep this blog going.

I have debated whether or not to address this issue because it is so personal, but after discussing it with my wife I have decided to go ahead and do it because, as she pointed out, if helps even a single person it will have been worth it.

For a very long time (years) I have lived with depression. I have tried everything, doctors, therapists, psychiatrists and their drugs. Nothing has helped. In fact, to be quite frank about it, their drugs have only made things worse. My life is much more complicated and difficult now since being on the drugs than it was before the drugs. One of the drugs is extremely addicting and has wreaked havoc with not only the addiction but also its horrible side effects. I have been on that particular drug for years now. When I knew I had to start trying to get off of it, I was shocked when there was no plan or guidance given on how to get off of it safely. Coming off this drug cold turkey will land you in an ER, or worse it could actually kill you.

The weaning process is slow and hellish. I have been able to wean down to half the dose I was on. Still a high dose though. I had to stop weaning for a while because I simply couldn’t take it any longer. Now, I start that process all over again, hopefully to get free of it for good. I do not look forward to the effects of weaning off! I know what awaits me. But I need to be free of this drug. It has reversed my sleep pattern, keeps my stomach in constant turmoil, makes me feel “drugged” or “doped” all the time as if my mind is in a fog that never lifts. Coming off of it causes its own symptoms. Intense stomach problems, intense nervousness/anxiety, confusion, nightmares and more. And that’s tapering off even slower than what is “recommended” as a safe pace. Any faster is dangerous. The “recommended” pace is intolerable. The drug is Klonopin. NEVER allow yourself or anyone you love to be put on this highly addictive drug.

With the failure of conventional (or traditional, or Western) medicine to help me, and with their treatments actually making things worse I am now trying a different approach. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), acupuncture and Naturopathy. I cannot start with the acupuncture treatment for depression until I am off the Klonopin because the drug interferes with effective treatment. But I can use acupuncture to help me get off the drug. I am also using Tae Kwon Moo Do, Tai Chi and other methods of exercise and stretching. More sunlight is also a must (since my days and nights are reversed as a result of the Klonopin). Diet is also to play a big role in my recover. More than I thought! Now I have even more reason to go vegetarian!

I remember a few years ago, my primary doc told me she had discussed my situation (not responding to treatment) with a high-ranking psychiatrist who traveled the nation teaching other psychiatrists and giving seminars. My doc did not of course name me, but did describe my situation. The “shrink of shrinks”, as I like to refer to the high-ranking psychiatrist, told my doc that severely depressed people seem to be low in the B vitamins (particularly B12) and folic acid. Whether this is a result of the depression or a cause I don’t know. Nor do I care. If I need it, I need it. It’s like the debate within Western medicine of biological causation of depression or environmental. Perhaps it is the depression itself that causes the biological “mess-up” of chemicals in the brain and not the other way around.

When I went to the acupuncturist/TCM practitioner, he “prescribed” exactly what the shrink-of-shrinks had told my doc. B-Complex (heavy on the B-12) and folic acid. He said the Chinese have known this all along. I believe him. I didn’t tell him about the shrink-of-shrinks recommendation of it, he brought it up himself. So it seems as if Western medicine is starting to, at least to some degree, realize that TCM is valid. I know of a woman that was dying of cancer and was given the choice of going home to die or stay in the hospital. She went home. Her father refused to accept that she should just die and brought in help from China, and also other TCM practitioners. She had gone through the entire regiment of cancer treatment in the Western style of medicine, and it combined with the cancer had left her extremely weak and frail. The TCM combined with meditation, visualization, sunlight exposure and when she could, “soft” styles of traditional Chinese martial arts forms. She didn’t die! In fact, she is still alive today and teaching martial arts! The Western doctors had told her that she would be dead within weeks. They even went so far as to try to sue the Chinese doctors and TCM practitioners. Why would the Western doctors do that? Simple. They were embarrassed! TCM saved her life where they had failed. You can read her incredible and very moving story here and learn more about her life today here.

I also know of another woman, whom I met once at a business meeting, who was diagnosed with breast cancer years ago. Doctors were urging aggressive and extreme measure to combat it and save her life. She thought about it and came to the decision that there had to be another way. There was, she found it, and is alive and very busy today. You can find out more about her and her story here and here. An astounding and disturbing part of her story is that she has written a book about her recovery and journey to wellness, but because of the power Western medicine wields, the book is tied up in legal battles over what she can and cannot say. This is absurd! People get better and live using a different approach than that of Western medicine and instead of trying to learn from it and help others, pharmaceutical companies, some doctors and others try to silence these individuals! This behavior is not only wrong, it is harmful and negligent. (I hope my web host has the intestinal fortitude to not cave to any pressure this post may bring, if they do not I will certainly move to another. I will not have free speech trampled upon)

I am not saying all Western doctors are bad, nor am I saying that Western medicine as a whole is a failure. It is not. It has saved lives. But it is not the answer to everything. And when it fails, other approaches and treatments should not be discouraged or belittled. Especially when those other approaches and treatments have proved time and again to be effective and often have far less (if any) side effects.

I have read about and known of too many people that have died from severe depression, whether it be by suicide or just being so worn down from it that an illness that should not have been fatal, was. Depression affects not only the mind and brain, but also the body. People who have never had a severe depression cannot know what the depressed person is going through. It is a living hell. A heavy darkness that does not lift. A living nightmare. It makes even the smallest of tasks an enormous effort. It is a killer. A slow, methodical, insidious and merciless killer.

This is my story. Western medicine has failed me. Their drugs have made things worse, not better. Now I turn to a different way. I do not want to become a statistic. I will be posting about my progress from time to time. What works, what doesn’t. For the first time in far, FAR too long I see hope. I see a glimmer of light in this world of darkness that is depression.