Tag Archives: Buddhism

Buddhist/Buddhism

The Problem with Emotions

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A better title for this post would perhaps be “My Problem with Emotions” as I certainly don’t want make the mistake of projecting my own problems, world-view and so on onto others. Everyone is unique of course, but there are some things we all have in common and one of those things is emotion (with the exception of sociopaths, but even they have emotion, it’s just different). It is not the purpose of this post to claim that all emotions are bad. Rather, it is an introspective look and analysis of my own experiences with emotions and how they affect me for bad or good. I could blame it all on my O.C.D. But I don’t even buy that excuse and I fully realize that I am responsible for my own emotions and how I allow them to affect me. I am, unfortunately, a highly emotionally person even though I seem to come across to some as very aloof or even “cold”. But inside it is a seemingly ongoing battle between me and my emotions. For example, when I get angry (not simply mad, but seriously angry) I can stay that way for years. The same with sad. So sadness and anger are my “problem” areas. It has only been recently that I have been able to let go of the raging anger over something that happened to me as a child and actually forgive those involved. But it was a huge relief. Almost as if a mountain had fallen off my back that I had been carrying around almost all my life. Now I do my best to stay emotionally detached from situations that may make me angry or sad. The situations themselves are unavoidable, that’s just life. But being able to stay emotionally detached from them is a skill that I’m still developing but has been a real life saver.

There is a difference in the emotional detachment I have learned and the psychological problem of depersonalization disorder. One is healthy while the other is not. I look at it sort of like the difference between choosing the foods you put into your body and starvation. Emotional detachment is sort of like choosing the foods you will eat. Some foods you know are bad for you, perhaps even toxic, and therefore obviously best avoided, while others are good and needed. Anger and sadness are toxic for me while empathy and compassion are good for both me and those around me. Both Christianity and Buddhism teach about self control and compassion, but for me anyway, Buddhism teaches me how by providing actual methods to achieve it. It’s up to me to actually put it into practice. Sometimes I do well and practice as I should and other times not so much. I can definitely tell the difference in my life when I am practicing as I should and when I am not. I think it would be the same for Christians as well. When they are keeping a close relationship with God, via prayer, reading the Bible and living in faith they are more at ease and can more easily cope with the sometimes overwhelming things life can throw at a person. I’m sure this is true of any faith, not just Christianity or Buddhism.

All one has to do to see the negative effects of emotions out of control is turn on the television, read a newspaper or check their favorite news site on the Internet. And I’m not just referring to war, but to personal relationships and the way strangers treat strangers. Or, we can just take a look inside ourselves and sometimes see the turmoil right there within us. Someone made us angry today, someone was rude or did or said something that made us sad, mad or whatever. All of that is emotional. For myself, I have to make sure what measure of importance I am going to give to a certain situation and perhaps completely detach myself from the emotions of others simply to avoid becoming emotional as well and lashing out or finding myself ruminating over the event again and again in my mind.

Something I have learned that is useful for me is to be aware of not only my thoughts, but also sensations. For example, we all know what it feels like to be startled. That sudden rush of adrenaline and the feeling in our gut. That is easily noticed. But there are sensations happening quite often that are not so obvious unless one is looking out for them. The sensation of tensing up when feeling angry or feeling overwhelmed. The sensation in the chest and/or gut when sad. All of these are really good clues to what is going on with us at any particular time and can give us a heads-up that we need to detach. Personally, when I find myself experiencing these things, I look at what is causing them and tell myself it’s only a sensation and I’m not going to attach any importance to it whatsoever. That can fend off a cascade of negativity for me. Something I really have to watch out for. I also take it a step further and remind myself that whatever emotion I’m experiencing that is causing the physical sensation, I’m not going to attach any importance to that either.

I’ve got a goal I’m working toward that I think will help me and everyone around me, be it family or strangers. That goal is to eventually be so completely aware of my emotions as to be able to instantly recognize them as toxic or healthy (to use the food analogy) and therefore control them immediately and not allow them any control whatsoever over me. I have met a few people that seem to have achieved this, and they are really an inspiration to me. In fact, I am just about in awe of them because it seems that no matter what was happening, they never “lost it” or even showed any sign that they were even affected by it. And in a couple of those cases it actually helped to save someone who was seriously injured when everyone else was either frozen in place where they stood or running in the other direction. (On the off chance that these individuals are reading this, yes, I remember and am still impressed!)

This post may not have made much sense to anyone but me, because I was basically just writing down my thoughts on the subject as they came and decided to post it anyway. To me, since I’m trying to adopt a healthier diet, the food and emotion analogy really works. Some things are just bad and others are good. I’m trying to be more careful about bringing more good. I wish I had realized this and started it when I was much younger… it would have saved me from experiencing a lot of trouble and needless misery!

Always a Catch Involved?

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When it comes to expressing one’s views, there aren’t many subjects that can be so potentially volatile than the subjects of religion and politics. The disagreement can be to such a degree as to even cause rifts between close friends and even family. This is a shame, but true. With that said, I’d like to pose a question that has always been on my mind regarding religion. The question has been there since I began serious study of religion years ago. The question is simple, but I believe it is also very important. It is this, “Is there a “catch” in all religions?”. Please let me elaborate, I’ll try to keep it as short as possible and still get my point across in a cohesive manner. Also, please keep in mind this is not meant to offend anyone but rather to simply pose the question.

Simply for example (and also because they are the religions involved in my own family) I will pose the question to two faiths, Christianity and Buddhism. The ultimate end-goal of Christianity is to spend eternity with God/Jesus (and by process avoid hell). In order to achieve this, one must have faith in Jesus. I understand that there is more involved, and depending on which denomination, the “more” can vary, but all the denominations agree that faith in Jesus is essential. There is the “catch” in Christianity. The Bible states that Jesus died for mankind’s sins (1st Corinthians 15:3 among others), so is that for all mankind? Not a stupid question. A valid one. Phrased differently, did Jesus dying on the cross, the sacrifice, apply to everyone throughout time, before Jesus, during his life, as well as to the present? Did it transcend time to go forward and backward? (Western/Christian thought on time is linear… as in started at point A will end at point B) To pose it another way, if Jesus dying on the cross was the ultimate sacrifice, putting an end to the need for animal sacrifices under the “Old Law” (to use the Christian term for the Jewish law in the Tanakh) and offering salvation to both Jew and Gentile, then why is anything else required? Why is even believing required? If it is God’s will that all be saved (2nd Peter 3:9) then why is anything at all required? I do notice in the verse just referenced that just after saying that God wishes none to perish, it says that rather God desires all to come to repentance. Repentance of what? Being human? Human nature? Please understand I am not trying to be contrary, I simply don’t understand, or cannot reconcile that if Jesus died for all sins, then why is anything else required of fallible humans?

The Bible says that with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). However, this is not so with humanity. We cannot even pool our resources to end hunger and homelessness in our own country (America), much less the world. We can spend over 200 million dollars per day on war, but not to feed people. We cannot even stop a cold, the flu or other bugs, nor can we stop mental illness or even completely understand criminology. If you think about it, there are a lot of things we humans can’t do. The media and scientific journals hail and praise what we can do, but little is said about what we cannot do or control. So why leave something, even a fraction, up to humans when it comes to something so enormously important as eternity? And why have so much chance involved? Jesus said he is the only way (John 14:6), so what about people who are born in Muslim countries to devout Muslim families? Or how about Buddhist countries? Or perhaps even into a nomadic tribe in Africa or elsewhere? The chances of any of these people born into and indoctrinated into their culture’s/tribe’s beliefs ending up being Christian is nominal to say the least. Or, to take it even further, what about “Doubting Thomas” who declared that he would not believe that Jesus had risen unless he saw him with his own eyes? If Thomas got his proof, then why are people two thousand years later damned for doubting?

Now to Buddhism. Just like Christianity, Buddhism has it’s “denominations” (though they are generally called “schools” or “sects”). Most Westerners have heard of Zen and Tibetan Buddhism because they have received the most attention here. But there is also Hosso (or consciousness-only), Pure Land (with “traditional”Chinese, Japanese Jodo Shu and Jodo Shinshu) and others. Then there are “Western Buddhists” who I really don’t understand why they call themselves Buddhists at all because they dismiss some key elements of Buddhism, and therefore would be better referred to as “humanist”. But let’s take Jodo Shinshu, a school of Japanese Pure Land Buddhism that is “faith based”. It teaches total reliance upon Amida Buddha in order to reach the “Pure Land” and become a Buddha and return to work for the benefit of all sentient beings. The nembutsu (chanting the Buddha’s name) is central to not only Jodo Shinshu, but also to Jodo Shu and Chinese “traditional” (read ‘more conservative’, as in placing an emphasis on good works alongside faith in Amida, or Amitabha in Chinese). But, back to Jodo Shinshu which may be better known to some as simply “Shin Buddhism”. Some claim one must have faith in Amida to escape samsara and reach Buddhahood. Well, that begs the question, “What about those who have never heard of Amida?”. A valid point. Buddhism does teach that it is rare to be able to hear of the Buddha’s teachings and therefore one should not waste this human life. Contrary to popular belief here in America, Buddhism does not teach reincarnation (with the possible exception of Tibetan Buddhism). There is nothing to reincarnate. Buddhism does, however, teach “rebirth”. Even this does not mean literal rebirth as in if Sam or Sally died then they would be “reborn” as Sam or Sally. One could say one is reborn every day, as one’s thoughts, attitudes and perceptions change daily depending upon circumstances and the condition of the mind and body. For example, the phrase “to be reborn into one of the hell realms” applies just as much to anger, jealousy or any other negative state as it could to any metaphysical state. You can look at it as a continual unfolding with no beginning and no end. Each moment unfolds into the next whether one is living or dying. I could even compare it to the Christian notion of going “to be with Jesus” after death, it implies that some part of them continues after death of the physical body and in Buddhist terms would be “reborn” in the place Jesus is. But enough with the semantics.

Why, in Shin Buddhism, does one have to have faith just as in Christianity? I have read of some Shin Buddhist scholars and ministers who say one does not have to because of the Primal Vow and the saving grace of Amida Buddha. Hozen Seki wrote,

“If I believed that there were any condition in Amida’s embrace, I would abandon this ministry”

and also,

“I believe that all beings, when they die, are embraced by the Amida Buddha—cats, dogs, humans, whatever they may be. Nor does it matter if they have never heard of Amida’s teachings or recited the nembustu”.

This makes infinitely more sense to me, for if there is a being that is capable of saving other beings, whether in the Christian or Buddhist sense of the word “saving”, then that being would be compassionate enough to do so without requiring something on our part. An example of this is a parent and a child. If the child is hungry and in need of food, there is no requirement on the child’s part for the parent to provide food because the parent has such love and compassion for the child. To make it more extreme simply for emphasis, if the child were in serious danger, the parent would not exclaim, “I will save you, but ONLY if you believe I will!”. That would be utter nonsense and not at all acceptable. The parent would rightly so be imprisoned for child endangerment or neglect. Yet another example is the way a mother cat moves her kittens out of danger. She picks them up and moves them, “saves” them, with no “effort” whatsoever required of the kitten. Same with a dog.

So, back to the original question. If dogs, cats and humans provide for their children without attaching any requirement, why can’t a superior being? It makes no sense to me whatsoever. To me, the arguments of “free will” and others of the like are completely moot. Just like a parent, if a being has the ability to save all beings from harm but yet fails to do so without some sort of prerequisite, then something is amiss.

I invite any and all ideas on the subject (so long as they are civil). :-)

Acts of Kindness

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If we look around us it doesn’t take long to notice that there is someone in need of something just about everywhere. It may not be obvious, and they may not make it known, but there are things we can do that can really make a difference in someone’s day. Kindness can be something we overlook, but can be one of the most influential forces we have. Just one nice thing can turn someone’s day around, just as one mean thing can do the opposite. Every major world religion teaches kindness; it is a unifying force within all of them. Even many people who aren’t religious realize that it is important to lend a helping hand. I came up with a list of a few small things to make a change is someone’s day that everyone can do at sometime or another, hopefully each day. Of course, don’t feel constrained to this list, be creative and come up with your own ways to be kind. Doing even one of these a day will get a smile, if not more. But don’t do it for the reward though, kindness is a reward within itself, you just have to let it be. Trust me, it will be worth it!

  1. Open the door for someone who has their hands full, or even offer to help them carry it. Everyone knows what it feels like to be overburdened when you are carrying things, and opening the door can be extremely difficult, and it is always nice to have someone open it.
  2. If you see someone at a vending machine that is having trouble finding enough money, offer to help pay for what they were about to buy.
  3. Compliment friends and family on something randomly. Most people enjoy getting nice things said to them, and it is even more fun when it is unexpected. This also would work well with a cashier or employee somewhere, it would really brighten their day.
  4. When you leave a fast food restaurant, wipe off the salt or whatever is left on the table and seats to help the workers and the people who eat there next. They usually make rounds to clean all the tables, but many people turn down an otherwise good seat when there is just a little salt or pepper on the table. Don’t be afraid to pick up trash, even if it isn’t your own.
  5. Sit with someone who is sitting alone if you think they are lonely. Some people intentionally sit alone, but at places like a college campus, there are people who don’t have anyone to talk to at the time. People usually don’t go to a crowded place to be alone; if they wanted to be alone, why not just go home or to their dorm? Of course, use your best judgment in any such situation.
  6. Let someone go when you meet at a stop light or if they are crossing the street, even if you are in a hurry. We often get in a rush and it is times like that in which we often miss out on opportunities to be kind.
  7. Leave some money in the return slot on a vending machine. I know from experience how exciting it is to find money in there, and it has even helped pay for my snack once.
  8. Let a person merge into you lane on a crowded highway. Interstates can be very frustrating for everyone, so help someone’s trip be better by letting them get out of a slow lane or one that is about to end.
  9. If you are in a crowded room, classroom, or even on a bus or something, offer your seat to someone who needs it like the elderly, the pregnant, etc. They’ll really appreciate that you gave your comfort up so they could be accommodated.
  10. This may be the biggest on the list, but pay for the next person’s order in a drive-through or cafeteria. If you have some extra money, this “Starbucks” style idea can start a chain, and even if it didn’t it can really help another person out. On the same note, carry around an extra water bottle and give it to someone who looks like they need it, or even buy a crate and hand them out on the street.

Sometimes it may seem like a burden to be kind, but doing good is like a flower – sometimes it takes a while to bloom, but when it does you realize it was worth all the effort.

Blessings and Problems of a Multi-Faith Family

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Our family is a “multi-faith” family, in more ways than one. On the one hand we have the obvious difference of Buddhist and Christian belief. Look deeper and there is the just as relevant difference in the beliefs among the Christians in our family. My wife is Christian, I am Buddhist. We have 3 children, obviously the subject of faith/religious beliefs comes up from time to time. But there is also a different, or rather deeper aspect added to the mix. My wife’s family is Baptist, many of my kin are also Baptist, but many are also Church of Christ. There is a vast difference between the two, at least in our experience. I would go so far as to say as much difference, or perhaps more accurately, as much or more disagreement between the Baptists and the ones who attend a Church of Christ. More than either are willing to admit from what I have seen and heard. Of course both disagree with Buddhism because there is no creator-god as there is in Christian theology.

So, how do the kids deal with this? Better than the adults do! Our children are well-rounded and balanced individuals with open minds. Not so indoctrinated in any dogma that they are angered by or intolerant of differing beliefs. I cannot say that for many of the adults in this situation. My wife and I manage very well together with the differences in religious beliefs. So do our children. It is other members of the family that seem to have the most difficulty dealing with this, though I have to credit them for keeping things civil for the most part. Surprisingly, when religious disagreement arises (when someone brings up a touchy subject) it is not Buddhism and Christianity “clashing”, rather it is the two views on Christianity. Baptist vs. Church of Christ. Sometimes even the ones within each can’t even agree. This is where I have a problem with how things progress and sometimes feel the need to step in and intervene or even deflect, because while I want our children to grow spiritually, I do not want some dogma driven into their heads to the point that they believe they have a monopoly on “Truth”. Nor will I allow an attempt to do such. I have no problem whatsoever with them going to church, either one… Church of Christ or Baptist. What I do have a problem with is when I catch someone trying to indoctrinate them with a dogma that would effectively close their minds and create intolerance toward others of differing beliefs. For example, I do not attempt to “make” our children Buddhists, and my wife does not try to “make” our children Christians. She does prefer them to go to church and that is fine. When they ask me questions about Buddhism I am happy to answer. It’s really as simple as that.

The only times issues arise is when cousins or grandparents get involved and try their best to persuade our children that their beliefs are the real “Truth” and any differing belief is just wrong. This mostly occurs between the Baptists and Church of Christ parts of the family and is done very subtly. Most of the “confrontations”, and they are not real confrontations, more like debates, that occur about Buddhism and Christianity is when certain members of the family attempt to “save” me from “hell” by trying to convert me to their version or interpretation of Christianity. These are usually very short-lived because I have become somewhat adept at making myself clear that I have no interest in converting. Even if I did convert I would be living a lie because I believe in Buddhism, but do not believe the Bible is inspired by anything other than man. So which is better, to live honest or convert and live a lie because I pretend to believe something I do not? The answer I believe should be clear.

Problems can even arise from simple, trivial things like vegetarianism. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with vegetarianism whether one is Buddhist or Christian. But when a Christian member of the family, my oldest son, decides vegetarianism is best for him and has moral/ethical/religious reasons for making that decision, and also believes that Jesus was or may have been vegetarian, then a rebuttal to his convictions is prepared for him by well-meaning members of the family, that by the way are also Christian. It’s fine to disagree. I have no problem whatsoever with disagreement and debate. Where I have a problem is situations like this. Where one or more persons believe that they are so completely right and his (my oldest son’s) views are so completely wrong that they feel compelled to refute them. Why not just let him be with his beliefs as he lets them be with their beliefs? It just doesn’t make any sense to me, unless they think he is in danger of hell simply because he believes Jesus was a vegetarian, and if that is the case then I am even more concerned because that is simply detrimental and judgmental and could serve no purpose other than to cause friction and divisiveness within the family. He did not just all of a sudden decide that Jesus was a vegetarian, he has researched the issue and found that he believes there is sufficient evidence for such a belief. Why is that so wrong? Would it be a sin to believe that Jesus was a vegetarian? Would someone be damned to hell for holding such a belief? These are some of the issues that can be problematic.

But there are good things, things I would call blessings that come from a multi-faith family. Things such as openness, compassion, respect for differing beliefs, sincereness and being exposed to such varying beliefs making one consider why another believes as they do and then respecting that person and their beliefs. Blessings such as love shining through despite difference in beliefs. Blessings such as being able to better understand and debate your own beliefs because you have been exposed to such varying beliefs that do not fit within your own. Compassion and real respect that extends beyond your family to others of different beliefs. These are things that can perhaps be more easily learned and accomplished in a multi-faith family than say one of a single belief and dogma that is rarely exposed to anything radically different than their own beliefs.

There are so many things that divide us as human beings that are completely unnecessary and even juvenile. Religion is one but should not be. Religion is one thing, true spirituality is another. That is to say, religious dogma serves no purpose from what I can tell except to divide, while spirituality on the other hand, things like compassion, love, forgiveness and humility unites. That is something that I see that shines through in our family, even when there are differences in views and beliefs, not a single member of our family has disowned another because of those differences. Even when the aforementioned rebuttals and debates take place, though emotions can sometimes run high, there is still the underlying love that will not allow the issue to go so far as to alienate. Personally, I love a good debate, but that’s all it is to me. A debate. My beliefs do not require me to try to convert others to them. I am not compelled by my religion to try to replace another person’s beliefs with my own. In fact, I strongly feel that such an attempt is wrong morally and ethically. After all, what right do I have to try to replace someone’s deeply held religious beliefs with my own? None. What right does anyone have to try to do such a thing? None. A person’s religious beliefs are their own, and they are deeply personal. I think the world would do well to learn to respect such things. After all, just read a newspaper, turn on the T.V., look on the Internet or listen to the radio. It is painfully obvious what religious intolerance and interference does. Why not just live in peace with your own beliefs and allow others the same courtesy whether you agree with them or not?

A New Look on Life… (for lack of a better title)

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Sometimes something really special happens, something very profound yet also subtle. I’ve read about these things, heard about them and even seen them happen in movies, and it’s true what they say… there are no words that can describe the experience. One might as well try to explain what a particular food tastes like to someone who has never tasted it or anything similar that would allow them to relate to it. And I think it is also unique to each individual. Some call it a “religious experience”, others an “epiphany” and still others an “awakening”. Whatever one calls it, I think it is a very important and profound thing in one’s life.

As I mentioned, I’ve read about them, heard people tell stories about their own and even seen it in movies. Yet it never seemed to happen to me… that is until tonight. And it was completely unexpected. But very welcome! I don’t believe I will ever forget it and I certainly don’t want to. I won’t even try to explain the whole thing because it’s pointless to try to describe the experience. What I can say is that it brings a sense of peace, forgiveness, compassion and joy that is not common. What I mean by not common is simply “not ordinary” in everyday life. Or at least it hasn’t been in my life. That’s not to say I haven’t had or haven’t experienced those things, but to say that it was on a completely different level. It is reassurance, calm and the dispelling of fears and doubts. It’s not (or not in my case anyway) like some wild experience such as being dragged to some other plane of existence as in some tales and movies. No, it was reassurance and all the aforementioned things right here, right now.

I don’t even know, really, why I’m writing about it. Perhaps it’s because I want to express it (the joy) and it’s late and I don’t want to wake everyone in the house and try to express my joy when they would rather just rest :) It can wait until they wake up.

I wondered at times if I would ever have such an experience. I’ve had a profound sense of peace, forgiveness and love before during meditation, but this was different somehow. I believe it is what Shinran Shonin called Shinjin. And I am ever so grateful for it! I realize this post may not make any sense to anyone else, but it makes a lot of sense to me and I can somehow say without doubt that this marks a change in my life!

Namu Amida Butsu!

A Valid Point, but Who Will Listen?

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I agree with the point. But how many will actually listen? Not many, sadly. There is too much corruption and greed among those in power. Not just in this country, but in others as well. I do see self defense as necessary, but to continue killing for years on end goes beyond anything defined as “self defense”. I am not just railing on one country here, this involves all countries and their leaders. Anyway, here’s the clip. I hope at least some will take the time to watch and listen and maybe even give it some thought.