Category Archives: Health

Meditation Methods

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Before I begin, I would like to point out a couple of things very clearly… one is that I make no claim to know everything there is to know about meditation. I simply pass along what I have been taught and what I have experienced. Second, there is nothing wrong with meditation. I was shocked recently when someone stated that they wouldn’t dare meditate because, in their words, “meditation is a tool of the Devil” and therefore a “sin”. I must admit I was flabbergasted. I understand that this person was most likely simply parroting the words of some minister, but it is sheer nonsense. There is nothing “evil” whatsoever about meditation no matter your religion. I guess that person and their minister have never read Psalms, particularly Psalms 1:2 which states, “But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.”

That said, I use meditation every single day. Multiple times and different methods. I use walking meditation, tai chi and sitting meditation. In this post I will describe a meditation you can use sitting in your chair or even laying down. I won’t get into the zazen posture in this post but will save it for later. However, this meditation is based on zazen. It uses the breath as a focus point to calm and still the mind. I realize that Dogen, the Soto Zen founder advocated a meditation that is “non-concentration” oriented, but here we will use the breath as a concentration point.

For this meditation, simply sit or lay comfortably and close your eyes. Don’t try to manipulate the breath, just focus on it and nothing else. Don’t have a “goal” in mind for meditation, just meditate. Just focus on the breath. Count each exhalation to ten and then start back at one. For example, inhale, exhale and silently count “one”, on the next exhalation silently count “two” and so on until you reach ten. Then start back at one. Don’t be discouraged if, especially you are a beginner, you find that your mind constantly wanders. Don’t become irritated, just simply return your focus back to your breath every time your mind wanders. It’s important not to become frustrated and it’s important not to expect something or have a goal when meditating because that simply interferes with the meditation. Just keep your mind on your breath and counting the exhalations and return your mind there each time it wanders. Be aware that it is very easy to fall asleep when doing this meditation, particularly if you are laying down. This is where the zazen posture comes in particularly useful to keep you awake but for now we are just going to concentrate on the breath.

It can be helpful when you are just beginning to set a time limit, have something that will make a sound (but not too loud) like a timer after so many minutes. If you find it particularly difficult to concentrate then try for 5 minutes at first, then ten and gradually work your way up. The timer can be especially useful when beginning because if you set a time limit you aren’t always looking at a clock and so disturbing the whole process. Also if you find yourself wondering if the time limit is about to expire, just bring your mind back to your breath. The timer won’t go off any sooner or later by you breaking your meditation to check the time.

Eventually you will be able to keep your concentration and focus for longer and longer periods of time, but don’t expect this at first. In fact, it’s important not to expect anything. Just meditate. Just focus on your breath, silently counting the exhalations to ten and starting again at one. When you settle in to this, you will find that your mind becomes easier and easier to calm the more you meditate. You will find that you no longer need a timer. Just like the body needs proper attention, so does the mind. The two have a profound affect on one another.

There are also chanting meditations, where you chant and focus on something important to you. Many times, instead of focusing on my breath I chant “Amituofo” aloud or silently. This brings a lot of peace to my mind and my whole being, as would probably be the case with a Christian focusing on and contemplating God’s love and mercy, or whatever is precious to anyone who is religious according to their own faith.

I hope this is of some use. In following posts I will describe different meditations from the actual practice of zazen to walking meditation and also tai chi.

As a P.S., if anyone is having trouble with the new contact form (like not getting a reply back), please let us know via comment. Thanks!

More Light on GAD, Stress and Meditation

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My previous post was about stress and the severe damage unrelenting or uncontrolled stress does. It turns out that there are many ways to deal with stress but the rate of success may depend on whether or not your stress is caused by an external (environmental or situational) trigger. If you have something such as major depression, GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), hypochondria or any other problem that keeps you on edge constantly then it is obviously more difficult as these problems alone cause almost constant stress in the form of severe anxiety and/or worry and are made even worse when life itself becomes stressful.

If you don’t have any of the aforementioned problems and stress is wreaking havoc in your life then the chances are good that you can deal with the stress simply by removing yourself from the stress-inducing problem or environment. If that is not possible then meditation, yoga, tai chi, eating well, getting enough rest and so on can keep the stress manageable. Consider yourself lucky if you are not also plagued by one or more of the above mentioned problems as well.

If you do have one of the problems mentioned above, obviously things are different. The problem is then not one you can simply remove yourself from. The problem is within. This throws a whole new twist on things. You can still use the methods mentioned above and get some relief, but sometimes the problem just can’t be cured (references at the end of the post). What I mean by cured is that if you take the traditional method of drugs and therapy, sometimes it simply fails. Then what? Then you have to start looking for different approaches. As I mentioned in my post about depression, Western approaches have completely failed me. I am having to take another route. Don’t be fooled into thinking that the Western way is the only way. If it works for you then great, but if it doesn’t, don’t be afraid to look elsewhere.

There are all kinds of studies that show the many benefits of meditation, so it is probably no surprise that it can most definitely help with anxiety problems. What is new and so less widely known is that it has now been shown to actually help all the way down to the cellular level. Just as stress harms down to the cellular level, meditation helps. There are many ways to meditate, I use several but the one I use the most is sitting meditation. Zazen. It helps. It can make all the difference in the world for me. But I also use moving meditation such as walking meditation and tai chi. I’ve tried yoga but just couldn’t get into it the way I can tai chi. And like yoga, there are many different forms of tai chi. Long forms, short forms and everything in between. The point is, stress is bad and meditation is good. In my next post I will go into more detail about just exactly how to do different meditations, both moving and sitting. It’s something that is incredibly important in my life and I know first hand some of the things it can do to bring some peace into one’s life. I don’t claim to be an expert, nor a doctor… but I do know it has made a difference it my life and so if I can help even one person learn and it help them then the world is that much better.

References regarding GAD and it’s chronic and sometimes incurable nature:

Here, here and here

A Killer

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I just watched a documentary called Stress: Portrait of a Killer. I think we all know that stress is bad for us but this shows just how bad. Uncontrolled or relentless stress not only wreaks havoc with our mind, but our body too. Here are some of the things that stress does, some I knew and some I was shocked to learn:

  • Shrinks the brain
  • Changes the way the body stores and deposits fat (creates the bad fat, fat that is not just under the skin but around the organs as well)
  • Actually changes and damages DNA strands, especially the protecting parts that keep it from “fraying”
  • Aggravates many illnesses or can make one more susceptible by trashing the immune system
  • Damages cells in the body
  • Brings about arterial disease more quickly

Basically it affects everything about you, down to your cells. If you get a chance to watch this documentary, I highly recommend it. Not for scare tactics or anything of that sort, but to learn just how bad it is and what it does to your body.

The Power of Your Mind

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There can be no question that the human mind is an awesomely powerful thing. It can help or hurt. It can help bring about or speed up healing and it can also make you sick. Thoughts are important. A single thought can have a dramatic effect on the body, for good or bad. The mind that has been trained to calm almost on demand through meditation can stem off a cascade of negative emotions. The mind out of control can wreak havoc. This is not some dreamed-up, fluff-filled hooey. It’s fact and can be verified, not just in controlled studies but also by daily experience. It’s something meditators have known for centuries, long before the advent of modern science.

The mind can be controlled to an astounding degree. Just recently it was found that people can control single cortical nerve cells with thought! The study and results are fascinating to say the least and can be found here. It has also been shown that peace of mind can “bridge the gap” in well-being for less fortunate (i.e. undereducated, financially disadvantaged and so on) people, just as surely as stress is a killer.

The problem is simple… how do we control the mind and harness it’s amazing power so that it can work for us instead of against us? This is especially crucial for people with an anxiety disorder or depression. I know this personally. The only answer I have found to this problem is meditation coupled with always being aware of what is going through my mind. When I catch myself engaging in a negative thought pattern then I use different methods to stop it. The method depends on the situation and the type of problem. Prayer has also been shown to help. I cannot say that prayer has worked for me but it obviously helps some. So I suppose it depends upon the individual. For me, meditation works so that is what I use. Breath control or manipulation also is effective for me when I am not in a place that I can just drop everything and sit and meditate. It gets me through until I can meditate.

I am learning more and more just how powerful the mind is and it is truly, truly amazing. I learn from my own experience, from reading/studying and from others who are more experienced than I. Everyone is different. We aren’t cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all. For some it may be prayer, for others sitting meditation, and others from some form of moving meditation such as Tai Chi or Qigong. Others may combine all of the above. My point is, the mind makes all the difference in the world. You don’t have to have an anxiety disorder, depression, PTSD or some other condition to benefit from learning ways to teach your mind to work for you instead of against you. What I can tell you is that it at first requires a monumental dedication and a lot of patience. But it is worth it.

Getting the word out

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It’s not something I’ve really thought about until I was reading an article about a young woman who is in desperate need of lung transplant. The article had a link to her blog which you can find here. The first post I read was titled “Get Involved”. There are several things a person can do to help those in need of transplants. One is simply bringing awareness to the issue. There are so many people out there who desperately need transplants to live yet we rarely, if ever, hear of them. These are people who desperately want to live, and in order to do that they have to have a transplant. This isn’t a case where one has to die to help. On her blog you can find ways to help, she lists several. Although she lives in the UK and therefore lists a UK place in one of her links, one can find ways to contact the corresponding agency in one’s own country of residence.

Organ donation saves lives. People with hopes and dreams. People who want to live to be able to pursue and achieve those hopes and dreams. People who want to be with their loved ones. It is unimaginable what it must be like. I won’t dare pretend to know. But I do know that if it were me or any of my friends or loved ones, I would want people to know and do what they could to get the word out. I do not know this young woman, but I have seen her blog. She wants to live. She has dreams and goals. She should get the opportunity to pursue those dreams and goals, as should so many others in a position similar to hers. Even with all our technology and medical advances, it really doesn’t do a lot of good unless people are made aware of the situation of others so they can get involved and make a difference. Different people have different views on organ donation ranging from simply personal to religious. But again, you don’t have to die to help. This is my attempt to help, to make a difference, small as it may be. But I could not just read the story and her blog and simply remain silent.

Counting My Blessings

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I have been counting my blessings since my post about depression. Depression seems to make everything seem dark and gloomy, as if there is no possible hope. It robs you of the recognition that you have many things to be thankful and grateful for. It’s as if it places a filter in your mind that only allows dark, gloomy thoughts to register. But, now that I have begun training my mind as I should, exercising my body, trying to eat better and recognizing the bombardment of gloomy thoughts for what they are, I am feeling hope. I know better than to proclaim victory and become complacent, I’ve been here before and I know all too well that if you let up for an instant, especially if something stressful is suddenly thrown into the mix, you can fall right back down to where you were or even lower.

As I stated in my post about my depression, Western medicine has completely failed. What’s more, just today as I was reading an article on the Internet an ad was on the page. It said something to the effect of, “Not responding to depression treatment? Click here for help.” So, I opened the ad in a new tab just out of curiosity to see what they had to say. I had to laugh when I read it. It was an ad by a major drug company claiming that if you weren’t getting better on the pill(s) you are currently on, that their drug had been “proven” to be effective when added to your already existing drug(s)! I found that both hilarious and troubling at the same time. In essence what they are saying is, “Hey, through another chemical at it! Buy ours and add it to the chemicals you are already on!”. Ridiculous.

So, I have been following the advice of my TCM practitioner, taking the natural substances he told me to. Following his instructions about exercise, nutrition and other things and guess what… I feel better! The withdrawal and weaning process of coming off the powerful chemicals that Western medicine put me on is hellish and slow, but I have to get off that stuff. I have noticed that by following the advice of my TCM practitioner my mind is not as foggy. The real litmus test, and proof that things actually are improving is that my wife has noticed a difference. The TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) practitioner had told me to ask her to monitor me because I needed an objective view on how things are going. I don’t think I could do this without the help and support of my loved ones.

So, I’m counting my blessings. I’m so grateful and thankful for the help and support of my wife, my parents, my kids and from readers of this blog who have emailed me with their help and advice (you know who you are and thank you very much :-) ). Here is a short list of things and people I’m making sure I remember each day how lucky I am to have in my life:

  • My wife
  • My sons
  • My parents
  • A roof over my head and food to eat
  • My TCM practitioner
  • The will and determination to get better
  • Forgiveness and the ability to let go
  • Tae Kwon Moo Do
  • Readers of this blog who have helped (are helping) via email
  • Learning to live right here and right now. Not getting hung up in the past or lost in worry about the future. Easier said than done, but I’m working on it!

And many, many more things.

Here is a short list of what I am throwing (or in the process of ridding myself of) out of my life:

  • Anger
  • Self-loathing and self-hatred
  • Worry
  • Grudges
  • Greed (feeling I have to have this or that when I actually already have so much to be thankful for)
  • The drugs I was placed on
  • And the one that’s going to get the hardest kick of all… Depression

Of course everyone has worry and anger at times. But they will no longer have any lingering and/or significant role in my life. I’ve wasted far too much time on those already.

To my wife, my sons, my parents and to those readers who have contacted me and helped me, this post is really for you. This is a “Thank You” post. Please know that by being there, helping, letting me know that I really can beat the depression that has dragged me down you have made a difference. More than I can put into words and more than you know. Thank you!!

The Quest for Perfection

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My son's training bag

I am not by any means a perfectionist in the strictest sense of the word. I am not one of those people that the psychologists call a “maladaptive perfectionist”. Those people who hold the belief that anything they do, be it work, play or whatever has to be perfect and anything they deem as less than perfect is unacceptable. First off, I don’t think perfection is attainable as there is always room for improvement, even if you believe you have “perfected” something. I’m no shrink but to me perfectionism is a lot like OCD. Perfectionists are obsessed with, well, perfection.

I have striven for the “perfect” kick, the “perfect” cut and other things related to martial arts. But I always realize that even if you execute and land that perfect kick, whether it be against the heavy bag or an opponent, a whole array of different things have to come into play to make that kick “perfect” such as how the opponent is moving or standing, how the heavy bag is still or moving, your own movement and footing and timing. A lot of things that might not be there the exact same way for the next kick even though you throw it just like you did the last time.

The same with tameshigiri (practice or test cutting with a katana or other blade). Sometimes the blade goes through like the target was melted butter. Other times, if your grip and angle of cut is just a tiny bit off, the blade will pass through but you feel the “twist” or torque as the blade passes through and you know you’ve just made a terrible cut. It takes a lot of practice to consistently make the “perfect” cuts. The same is true for the perfect kicks.

So while I am not a perfectionist, I do find myself obsessing over not just the kicks or cuts, but also other things. Especially when things don’t go as I have come to expect them to, like why couldn’t I reach the state of calm during meditation that I did last time? Why did I miss that shot? I was using the same load, same rest, the temperature and humidity are almost identical to what they were yesterday! How did I miss that? Or how in the world did I torque that blade? I’ve made that cut more times than I can count! How did that happen?!

Or with computers, when working for clients I’ve many times run across problems that seem to arise out of nowhere, completely baffling me for a time. I’ve tested and tested the configuration on my test systems yet it wouldn’t work correctly when I got on site. In all these cases, the kicks, the cuts, the target shooting and work, I just step away from the issue for a bit or I will become so irritated that I cannot think clearly which only compounds the problem. Of course while working for a client I can’t just walk away so I step back and begin checking other things so as to give me time to figure out what is going on and yet still be actually working. So far I’ve always been able to come back to the problem and figure out what was going wrong. Usually it turns out to be something I simply did not notice at first and I quickly correct it and make it seem as if it all went off without a glitch.

The real problems that I have found in my own life when it comes to obsessing over “perfection” are the ones that pertain directly to religious matters. Like, “Why can’t I live up to even the most basic principles on a consistent basis?”. That’s where real trouble begins. That’s when I learned a tough lesson. Religious belief can bring peace, calm and a sense of purpose to one’s life. It can also help with the “tough” questions. But it can also do the polar opposite! It can make one completely miserable and in a constant state of feeling guilty, of questioning and doubting. It is times like these that I find I have to distance myself and then after a time completely re-evaluate. I start looking at what is simply tradition and dogma vs what is actually taught. That’s when I find the middle ground again and am OK. But this comes in cycles. I am OK with things until I start falling into the trap of tradition and dogma.

A man whom I respect very much and has been kind enough to help me in times like the ones just mentioned has said that religion, no matter what form it takes, can be a very dangerous and difficult phenomena because it can be used to take advantage of us when we are most vulnerable, and many people have been injured emotionally and spiritually because of religious teachings and practices and by unscrupulous leaders. I agree completely. He has also said that there is no way to calculate the damage done to young psyches by the moralism and dogmatism that some religious groups use, not to mention adding the dose of fear into the mix. I feel fortunate to be able to discuss such matters with him. He is a well known Buddhist scholar, priest and author.

So it really doesn’t matter if it’s something as ultimately trivial as a kick, cut or poomse (martial arts form) or something as serious as religious faith. Perfection is impossible. Sure, there may be the occasional “perfect” cut, kick or form, but to have that perfection consistently and without fail is impossible. It is my belief that it is also complete and utter delusion to expect to be able to live up to the impossibly (impossible in a very literal sense) lofty goals that so many religions set up.

Perfection can be an ideal, a feeling, a dream…. all subjective. But real, objective and concrete (not to mention consistent) perfection is a delusion. Perhaps an illusion as well, but definitely a delusion.

So, I will continue to try for that “perfect” kick, cut, IT solution, and middle ground in religious faith, all the while realizing that real perfection is impossible, but striving to be the best you can be is a good thing. It takes a real load off my shoulders reminding myself that striving to be the best I can be is good, but perfection is not a requirement (unless, of course, one enjoys delusion :-) ).

Depression

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I have debated whether or not to address this issue because it is so personal, but after discussing it with my wife I have decided to go ahead and do it because, as she pointed out, if helps even a single person it will have been worth it.

For a very long time (years) I have lived with depression. I have tried everything, doctors, therapists, psychiatrists and their drugs. Nothing has helped. In fact, to be quite frank about it, their drugs have only made things worse. My life is much more complicated and difficult now since being on the drugs than it was before the drugs. One of the drugs is extremely addicting and has wreaked havoc with not only the addiction but also its horrible side effects. I have been on that particular drug for years now. When I knew I had to start trying to get off of it, I was shocked when there was no plan or guidance given on how to get off of it safely. Coming off this drug cold turkey will land you in an ER, or worse it could actually kill you.

The weaning process is slow and hellish. I have been able to wean down to half the dose I was on. Still a high dose though. I had to stop weaning for a while because I simply couldn’t take it any longer. Now, I start that process all over again, hopefully to get free of it for good. I do not look forward to the effects of weaning off! I know what awaits me. But I need to be free of this drug. It has reversed my sleep pattern, keeps my stomach in constant turmoil, makes me feel “drugged” or “doped” all the time as if my mind is in a fog that never lifts. Coming off of it causes its own symptoms. Intense stomach problems, intense nervousness/anxiety, confusion, nightmares and more. And that’s tapering off even slower than what is “recommended” as a safe pace. Any faster is dangerous. The “recommended” pace is intolerable. The drug is Klonopin. NEVER allow yourself or anyone you love to be put on this highly addictive drug.

With the failure of conventional (or traditional, or Western) medicine to help me, and with their treatments actually making things worse I am now trying a different approach. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), acupuncture and Naturopathy. I cannot start with the acupuncture treatment for depression until I am off the Klonopin because the drug interferes with effective treatment. But I can use acupuncture to help me get off the drug. I am also using Tae Kwon Moo Do, Tai Chi and other methods of exercise and stretching. More sunlight is also a must (since my days and nights are reversed as a result of the Klonopin). Diet is also to play a big role in my recover. More than I thought! Now I have even more reason to go vegetarian!

I remember a few years ago, my primary doc told me she had discussed my situation (not responding to treatment) with a high-ranking psychiatrist who traveled the nation teaching other psychiatrists and giving seminars. My doc did not of course name me, but did describe my situation. The “shrink of shrinks”, as I like to refer to the high-ranking psychiatrist, told my doc that severely depressed people seem to be low in the B vitamins (particularly B12) and folic acid. Whether this is a result of the depression or a cause I don’t know. Nor do I care. If I need it, I need it. It’s like the debate within Western medicine of biological causation of depression or environmental. Perhaps it is the depression itself that causes the biological “mess-up” of chemicals in the brain and not the other way around.

When I went to the acupuncturist/TCM practitioner, he “prescribed” exactly what the shrink-of-shrinks had told my doc. B-Complex (heavy on the B-12) and folic acid. He said the Chinese have known this all along. I believe him. I didn’t tell him about the shrink-of-shrinks recommendation of it, he brought it up himself. So it seems as if Western medicine is starting to, at least to some degree, realize that TCM is valid. I know of a woman that was dying of cancer and was given the choice of going home to die or stay in the hospital. She went home. Her father refused to accept that she should just die and brought in help from China, and also other TCM practitioners. She had gone through the entire regiment of cancer treatment in the Western style of medicine, and it combined with the cancer had left her extremely weak and frail. The TCM combined with meditation, visualization, sunlight exposure and when she could, “soft” styles of traditional Chinese martial arts forms. She didn’t die! In fact, she is still alive today and teaching martial arts! The Western doctors had told her that she would be dead within weeks. They even went so far as to try to sue the Chinese doctors and TCM practitioners. Why would the Western doctors do that? Simple. They were embarrassed! TCM saved her life where they had failed. You can read her incredible and very moving story here and learn more about her life today here.

I also know of another woman, whom I met once at a business meeting, who was diagnosed with breast cancer years ago. Doctors were urging aggressive and extreme measure to combat it and save her life. She thought about it and came to the decision that there had to be another way. There was, she found it, and is alive and very busy today. You can find out more about her and her story here and here. An astounding and disturbing part of her story is that she has written a book about her recovery and journey to wellness, but because of the power Western medicine wields, the book is tied up in legal battles over what she can and cannot say. This is absurd! People get better and live using a different approach than that of Western medicine and instead of trying to learn from it and help others, pharmaceutical companies, some doctors and others try to silence these individuals! This behavior is not only wrong, it is harmful and negligent. (I hope my web host has the intestinal fortitude to not cave to any pressure this post may bring, if they do not I will certainly move to another. I will not have free speech trampled upon)

I am not saying all Western doctors are bad, nor am I saying that Western medicine as a whole is a failure. It is not. It has saved lives. But it is not the answer to everything. And when it fails, other approaches and treatments should not be discouraged or belittled. Especially when those other approaches and treatments have proved time and again to be effective and often have far less (if any) side effects.

I have read about and known of too many people that have died from severe depression, whether it be by suicide or just being so worn down from it that an illness that should not have been fatal, was. Depression affects not only the mind and brain, but also the body. People who have never had a severe depression cannot know what the depressed person is going through. It is a living hell. A heavy darkness that does not lift. A living nightmare. It makes even the smallest of tasks an enormous effort. It is a killer. A slow, methodical, insidious and merciless killer.

This is my story. Western medicine has failed me. Their drugs have made things worse, not better. Now I turn to a different way. I do not want to become a statistic. I will be posting about my progress from time to time. What works, what doesn’t. For the first time in far, FAR too long I see hope. I see a glimmer of light in this world of darkness that is depression.

Epic Failure, Trying Again

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I’ve been feeling somewhat “down in the dumps” lately. With work coming to a screeching halt because the economy shut down two of my biggest clients, failing miserably at my attempt to adopt a vegetarian diet, being overweight and out of shape. I could whine for hours! :-) But instead of whining indefinitely, I think I’ll just start over. I’ve found some inspiration and that really helps. It seems that lately I have been spiraling deeper into a consistently dark (or depressed) mood, almost certainly due to dwelling too much on the things mentioned above. But today I found inspiration in a few places, things that it seems I really needed to hear (read) and also found my old martial arts instructor.

The first was a post from the site 125 pounds that I really needed. It let me know I’m not alone (a big thanks!). The second was finding Master Choi. I have trained with several martial arts instructors, a few claiming the title “Master”, but Master Choi is indeed a true Master of the martial arts. The man took me into his school and changed a wild, self-destructive teenager into a focused and disciplined young man. That was more than 20 years ago. Somewhere along the line between then and now, I lost my way so to speak and got lazy (and much heavier as a result).

All three of my sons are interested in martial arts, and I have taught them the best I know how. My wife and I have even checked out other schools for them to train at, but none can even come close to comparing with Master Choi’s method of teaching, patience and focus on building character. We have always wanted Master Choi to train our sons in the martial arts. So many of the schools today either focus solely on the sport oriented side or require ridiculous, entrapping contracts (no way to get out if it turns out to be a lousy school) or both. Master Choi did neither of these. To him, his art was something sacred that was taught by master to student and therefore did not require any entrapping contract or continuously increasing costs to buy more and more equipment, or charge ridiculous prices to test for belts on top of the monthly fee. It was a way of life for him. It obviously still is as I have finally found him via the web. Unfortunately, his school is now over 300 miles away (I’ve said before, we are in the middle of nowhere! :-) ).

So, after seeing how good Master Choi looks after all these years (a picture of health, and he’s much older than I am) and reading that post that I mentioned above I have decided to simply just start over and try again. At this moment in time, I can’t do a whole lot about the business problems until some new clients come along that are capable of providing the income the others did, but I can plan and prepare. That’s exactly what I aim to do regarding my health too. I will plan and prepare. I don’t want to fail again. I really want to adopt a vegetarian diet, get in shape and lose these unwanted and unhealthy pounds. In order to do that I’m making a to-do list, a thought-out approach to tackling these problems.

  • I’m going to start putting into practice what I learn from excellent sites like 125 Pounds, not just read but actually do.
  • I’m going to watch more closely how I think because how I think very much affects how I act (or fail to act).
  • Since Master Choi is so far away it is impossible to train with him again, I will start over with what he taught me more than 20 years ago. I still remember his teachings and training methods vividly. So I will just start training the way he taught me. Jung Shin Tong Il. Body, Mind and Spirit. Of course, I won’t be able to just jump in at the level I was, I’m nowhere near the shape I need to be in for that. But I can certainly work my way back up to it. And I mean to do just that.
  • Manage my stress better. Stop letting things worry me to the point of making my life miserable.

OK, now it’s out there for the world to see! I did this on purpose, I know people will see this. So if I start coming off as depressed or negative or whatever in my posts, please let me know. If you don’t want to leave a comment then go ahead and use the contact form as I know some of you don’t like to comment. Or, for those of you who have my direct email, fire one off to me and let me know if you think I’m not living up to this post. Support and feedback means a lot, and I think it will be a big help in my quest to get healthy.